Routine and Positive Messages

Part 1: 3) The first sentence is well written because it states their reason for the reply up front. It would have been better if they introduced themselves and said their position so the person would know they're qualified enough to help. The second sentence is kind of wordy, but it's good that they are telling the customer why they need to provide more information. The third sentence's strength is the fact that it uses the "you" format (like the rest of the sentences). However, it's starting to get a rude tone. The strength of the fourth sentence is that it first tells the customer what they did right before they tell them what they did wrong. They were also detailed in what was wrong with the request. However it seems a little wordy. The good thing about the last sentence is that it tells the customer exactly what they should do to get the problem fixed, but it seems like they are blaming the customer for what happened. They should be a little more curteous in their message.

Part 2: 9)

5493 Beechwood Drive
Trenton, NJ 08608
April 12, 2009

Florida Resort Bureau
1555 Palm Beach Lakes Boulevard
West Palm Beach, FL 33401

Dear Ms. or Sir:

I am planning a family vacation in Florida for late September, and I thought of your company after seeing your advertisement in an April issue of Smithsonian magazine. I am writing to request some information regarding your resort and availabilities. Here are some ammenities that I would like you to inform me about:

• Beaches
• Golf courses
• Proximity to family-friendly night entertainment
• Nearby public transportation
• Resorts near large cities
• Attractions for teenagers

In addition to these ammenities, I would like answers to the following questions:

• Do off-season rates include all of the ammenities?
• What is the weather like during September in Florida?
• Who should we call for concert schedules during our vacation?

If possible, I need this information in the next two weeks so I can schedule my time off work. I look forward to hearing from you soon!

Frank C. Atlas